Let's Talk about Sex
by CampionSayn
Summary: Rinku gets the birds and the bees from the most unlikely person. The sequel is up!
1. Birds and Bees

Disclaimer: I own nothing and nothing owns me.

Summary- The six warriors have hit a small road block with Rinku. The little yo-yo expert wants to know about sex and none of them are willing to tell him about it. What to do? Ask a female. Which female? The only one older then all of them put together.

* * *

Listening as her record player let loose the wonderful sounds of old fifties bands, Botan was content. Washing her dishes wasn't too much of a chore for her, not with the wonderful new cleaning soap that just came on the market.

It was finally her day off. And what a beautiful day! Outside the sun was up, few clouds floated overhead and the wind wasn't too humid with summer.

"Perfect day."

But, it was not to last.

Lifting her already dry dishes from the rack, when the ferry girl turned to open up her cupboards, she was greeted by the sight of Shishiwakamaru and Suzuki standing in her kitchen door, Chu standing directly behind them, Touya next to her fridge and Jin and Rinku sitting at her table.

The scream that issued from her mouth could, and probably did, wake the dead.

When her breath came back to her, all six males were holding their ears, especially Jin. The poor wind master would be lucky if his eardrums weren't broken.

"What the hell are you all doing here?! And why didn't you knock on my door_ before_ coming in?!"

"Eh, sorry love, we wanted to see the look on yer face. Didn' mean to scare ya." The tallest of the six, Chu, apologized.

"My god, how does a woman so small make so much noise?" Shishi asked Suzuki at the side, his pinky finger prodding the inside of his ear. It was still ringing.

"You didn't answer my questions. Why are you here?" Botan repeated, putting her dishes into her cupboard, passing Touya who was attending to Jin at the moment.

"Well... uh... it's like this... Rinku wants to know... Oh, how do I say this?" Chu hesitated, shifting from foot to foot under the ferry girl's curious look.

"Rinku wants to know what?"

"Oh, for Enma's sake! The pipsqueak wants to know about sex." Suzuki finished for the Aussie, looking annoyed.

Silence reigned for a moment as the blue haired Grim reaper processed what they were saying, a feeling of dread being placed in her stomach. She had been down this road with Yukina once, and Hiei nearly shot her out of the sky afterwards.

"...And?" It was a stupid thing to say, but she wanted to be sure.

"Could you perhaps tell him about it? After all, you're probably the most decent person to tell him the facts. We wouldn't want to corrupt him if we can help it." The ice master explained, playing on the deity's good intentions to everyone. It was mean, but had to be done.

"Yeah, right!_ I_could have told him the facts, but NOOO, you decide to take him to the messenger of death! I still don't see why-" Suzuki began, stopping when the wind master moved for the first, time only to give him a whack over the head.

"Suzuki, you had your chance, and it got taken away when you took out those magazines! Now hush up!"

Still looking a bit perplexed, Botan looked over to Rinku who had been rather quiet during this whole time. He just looked at her with a brow raised, a look of doubt on his face.

"You... You really want to know about sex?"

He nodded.

Botan sighed. This was not going to be pleasant.

"Alright. But, first I'm going to ask the rest of you to wait outside. I can't have you interrupting when this is going to be hard enough as it is." The deity announced to the older males, shooing them into the living room and shutting the door. Pointedly annoying the dirty looks she got from Shishi and Suzuki. The samurai must have tried his hand too.

Turning back around she went to sit across from Rinku, who still sat quietly. She tried to find a proper way to break the ice, even though in the back of her mind she knew that there was no good way to begin explaining the birds and the bees.

"So... um, you do know that males and females have different physical attributes, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"To what extent do you know this?"

"Guys have dicks and girls have holes."

"Well, yes. Who informed you of this fact?" Please, Enma, let it have been Touya.

"Shishi told me. Or, at least he tried."

Her face went a little green at that thought. Shishi told him this? In what alternate universe did the bird demon give advice?!

"Did he tell you what the holes were for?"

"Nope. Didn't get the chance."

"Why?"

"Chu walked in."

"Oh. Well, the holes, for females, carry a great deal of importance. One is for urine, one is for bowl movements and the third is for sex." Botan explained, thinking that maybe she should ask Touya in for some help on this. At least when it came to the male's part.

"How would that work? I mean, how do you tell the holes apart? There are three!" The little demon asked, looking very confused.

She was afraid that this would come up.

"Er, well, the hole for urine is very small and the one for bowl movements is the last one. And the one for sex... Uh, well, that is at the center and might be... hard to... find."

God, she felt like hiding under a heavy rock right now.

* * *

In the other room, Jin, Chu and Suzuki were pressing their ears to the door, listening into the very awkward conversation going on. Their other two companions were sitting in various seats through the room, looking more or less bored. Touya had looked through the onna's book collection and was leafing through an auto book that he would never imagine to be in any woman's possession.

"Are you sure this was the right thing to do? I mean, she keeps stuttering." The tallest man in the room asked, trying to keep his parental worriment for the little demon in check.

"Yeah, I'll bet she hasn't even had sex." Shishi remarked snidely.

"You don't have to have sex to explain it." Touya countered, not looking up from a picture of a car battery.

Before anyone got the chance to give him a teasing comment or an odd look, their little charge came running into the room screaming something about not wanting to die.

"I'm never gonna have sex! You can't make me! I'm too young to die! Chu, help me!" Rinku screamed, clinging to the much older male's right arm as the onna came into the room pinching the bridge of her nose, obviously trying to ward off an up-coming headache.

"I didn't say you'd die from sex, I said _one_could die from-- well, during sex." Botan tried again, noticing the look Chu was giving her and hoping that the others weren't thinking anything that might make the situation worse.

Touya had decided that the book wasn't nearly as interesting as the situation and decided to set it down, and perhaps help the female out a little.

"What's this about?"

Botan looked to the ice master, not looking him directly in the eye and tried to find a way to explain the situation.

"He wanted to know whether or not if he had sex someday, if their might be something that could go wrong, like, say, dying... and I said yes."

The ice master's brow raised, coaxing for a further explanation while the Aussie had settled Rinku onto a couch, trying to get him to listen again.

"Why would you say a stupid thing like that?" Suzuki asked, tactless as ever.

"Because it's true!" Botan defended, another hot blush spreading over her features," In all my time as a ferry girl, I've picked up at least two dozen souls who have died during intercourse!"

"Really?" The wind master asked, hovering by Touya.

"Yeah, and give us details." Shishi piped up, very attentive now.

All eyes on her, the bluenette was very tempted to jump out the window, but she had gotten Rinku's attention back and didn't want to leave him scarred for the rest of his long life.

Composing herself, Botan tried to form a clear picture of what she had meant earlier, sitting down on her favorite chair in the process.

"Well, technically the sex won't kill you. But! The process of sex could. At least, if you're very, very old and have high blood pressure and a bad heart. That will kill you. Sex is exercise, after all. Too, much strain and poof, I come to get you."

"That would be a great motto for the American Heart Association." Suzuki commented, earning another thump on the head from Jin.

"So, I'll only die from sex if I'm old and sick?" Rinku asked.

"Yes." The onna replied, her blush fading.

"Okay... That's good. But, about the other question I had?"

"Which one?"

"What's the point of sex?"

Yet again, all eyes were on her and Botan flushed red as a type of fingernail polish she kept for dinner dates.

"Well... When two people usually are attracted to each other and love each other--"

"Don't have to love each other." Shishi interrupted, considering his own previous experiences.

"That's ri--" Suzuki almost joined in, stopping at the evil glare he was getting from Botan. Considering how much he would like to leave the room with as few bruises as possible, the blonde promptly shut his mouth.

"As I was saying," Botan continued," When two people are at the very least, attracted to each other, they start to court one another, and when they feel that they know each other very well and decide they want to mate, they have sex. Usually it's to comfirm feelings of love for one another, but if they are already mated then they either do it for pleasure," At this she paused and gave Shishi a warning look, that said 'Open-your-mouth-and-die'," Or to make a baby."

Rinku seemed to understand what she said, and finally nodded his head.

"I think I understand now. Thanks."

"Your welcome." The ferrier replied, suddenly glad that she had told him the facts instead of the others. Almost honored that they had snuck into her house.

"One more thing, though." Rinku said, catching Botan as she headed for the kitchen again to put away her plates.

"What is it?"

"Where do babies come from?"

The dishes in her hands shattered and back in the living room, the demons groaned.

* * *

May write a sequel. REVIEW, first.


	2. Babies :The sequel

Disclaimer: I own nothing and nothing owns me.

"Summary: This is the sequel to 'Let's talk about Sex'. This is going to be a little more complicated, and this time, the boys get to lend a hand. Sort of.

* * *

The glass that had shattered all over Botan's floor had been picked up after repeated apologies from the other males that had barged into her house and put her into the position that she would, currently, not wish on anyone.

She, after calming down a bit, was now, once again sitting across from Rinku on her sofa trying desperately to form a regular sentence without stuttering.

"Uh, wha-- you just found out what sex is. Babies come after that."

"Yeah, you said that three times already, but HOW do they come after? What happens in between the sex and the babyness?" Rinku questioned, a rather annoyed look on his face. He was young in demon terms, but he was smart. He should have been able to figure this out! It wasn't fair!

Understanding dawned on Botan's face, and then disappointment and then a look that one couldn't really pinpoint. It could have been either more embarrassment or possibly annoyance, it was difficult for Rinku to distinguish. Probably the former, considering how red she was.

Uttering a defeated sigh, the ferry girl moved back to her kitchen where the other males were gorging on her food. Well, Chu and Jin were gorging, Shishi, Touya and Suzuki were sampling, really. Taken little bites as opposed to stuffing their faces like the other two. If the blue haired deity wasn't so worn out she probably would have yelled at them, but right now she just didn't feel like it.

"Hey." She greeted, alerting them to her presence in the doorway," I'll need some help with this part."

"What do you need us to do exactly?" Shishi asked, flicking his hair out of the way of his vision, Jin's wind kept knocking it around.

"Help me! Help me, help me, help me! Just a little! Just enough to get this right and not screw him up! Please!" She begged, getting ready to cry. She hadn't signed up for this!

While the water built up in her eyes, the males looked at her with either A): Guilt, or B):Humor. Shishi and Suzuki falling into the latter category and Chu, Jin, and Touya falling into the former. The three with actual morals getting up quickly to follow her into the living room. Jin giving her a tissue he had snagged from one of her cabinets.

"Sorry 'bout this. We didn' think it would send ya to a nervous breakdown, really!" The redhead of the group apologized, hovering near her as she blew her nose, settling back onto the sofa.

"It's not your fault Jin." She said.

"Well, it's not his fault, really. The blame for this whole ordeal probably goes to Shishi, considering he's the one who left out those horrible magazines where Rinku could find them." The ice master considered out loud, throwing a dirty glance towards the tengu who had come into the living room again with the blonde narcissist. Said tengu ignoring Touya entirely.

"You expected him to be in the dark forever?" Shishi asked, sarcasm dripping from his mouth.

"No, but we hoped an extra twenty years would pass before he had to come into manhood." Chu shot back, sipping some whiskey from his trusty thermos.

"Twenty years?" The deity of the house asked, looking rather dubious.

"Fifteen in demon years." Touya explained.

"Um, hello? Back to the question at hand. Where do babies come from?" Rinku asked, looking rather annoyed at being ignored. What was with these adults? Was everything this complicated when you got older?

Taking a deep, somewhat shaky breath, the deity turned towards the young demon, hoping to Enma that this explanation wouldn't screw him up so bad that he'd need therapy in later life.

"Okay. First, as I said before, when two people have sex, the male inserts himself into the female, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well... the male does that so he can reach a special area inside the female. The place where a female stores her..." What was a proper word to use? Turning to Touya, a look crying for help was flashed.

Receiving the message clear as day, the ice master stepped in with the closest thing he could think of.

"Eggs."

Rinku's brow raised, his gaze switching from one blue haired person to the next,"Eggs?" He deadpanned.

"Eggs." Both adults replied unanimously.

"...Really soft eggs. They're made from, well... a substance similar to skin. Only a lot thinner and squishier. Kinda like a goldfish." Botan tried, thinking scientifically. Sort of.

"Females make eggs like a fish?" Rinku asked, becoming very confused, very quickly.

Botan sweatdropped a bit, considering whether to go with what she had or make things worse," Yes. Anyway, females carry their eggs so that when the male inserts himself, she can get pregnant."

"What does the guy do, though?"

"He has... Well, when he inserts himself and well... orgasms... he has this liquid that has these..." She was stuttering now. Really bad sign.

"Can somebody jump in here?!" She demanded, turning to the demons.

"Uh, um...Mini fish!" Jin said, lifting his hand like a little kid in school.

"Mini fish?" If Rinku wasn't confused before, he sure was now.

"Yeah," Chu added," Only they're white and way smaller than the eye can see."

"Oh. That makes sense." Rinku said. It was quite hard to tell if he was being sarcastic or if it actually made sense to him.

"Yes. Anyway, when the "fish" are released into the female, they race to where the eggs are. Now, depending on whether the woman is human or demon or whatever, the results may vary, but the one thing that is most in common, is that the fastest "fish" gets the egg and becomes a baby." Botan finished, sagging noticeably in her seat. 'Please, Enma, don't let him ask anything else.'

Her wish was not heard.

"I thought the female had to carry the baby for a while."

"They... usually do. But, as I said, the species vary. Some woman, usually demons and spirits, actually have eggs, and store them in a heated area for some months until they hatch. Others, well, the baby has to be carried in them for..." Oh, crap. She forgot about the time limits.

"Nine months." Suzuki pointed out, reading from one of Botan's other books. This one was on hair products.

"Thank you! Yes, nine months. During which the female will vomit for the first, eh, two months quite often during the day. Then," Botan continued, not noticing the way Rinku's eyes seemed to pop a little," She will only get sick when she eats or smells something really disgusting. She will also eat really weird food and experience very random mood swings. It's quite a sight."

Now, and quite predictably, all the males in the room were paying very close attention to the only woman in the three worlds who they thought to consult on this.

"And, when the pregnancy comes to an end, the female's hole that the male inserted himself into, opens very wide and she looses the water that was previously keeping the baby in her stomach. She then lays down and the male that got her pregnant sits with her while she goes through excruciating pain for what could be twelve hours or twelve minutes."

Jin had stopped floating in the air and was peeking over Touya's shoulder while the ice master's knuckles turned white. Shishi's eyes were the size of dinner plates. Suzuki had stopped reading when she got to the part about mood swings. Chu's thermos was crushed in his hand, and Rinku was hanging on the deity's every word.

"When the female is ready, she pushes the baby, who is about the size of a pot roast through her opening, which is only about a third as big. It's the worst thing any creature can experience, especially if there aren't any sedatives lying around." Was Botan smiling at this thought?"And then, when the baby is out, the cord the attaches it to her is cut and then you have a baby. You understand now?"

"Yes." All the men answered, surprising the female.

After the men had gotten the image of what Botan had explained out of their heads, they had thanked her and left, Rinku commenting that he'd never want to do that. Not ever.

Botan stayed on her sofa, looking over the day she had thought would be a non-event and had turned into something that would probably settle in the back of her mind whenever she heard the word pregnancy.

For what it was worth, however, she was quite happy that none of them had asked her anything like whether she had had children. She hadn't, of course, but they didn't need to know that.

"Oh, what a day." She muttered. Lifting herself from the sofa, she nearly received a heart attack when her phone began ringing.

Grumbling, she grabbed the annoying object, "Hello?"

"Miss Botan, I forgot to ask," Rinku's voice echoed from the other end," The others wanted to know if you'd be willing to go out on Monday."

A resounding thud was heard through the apartment as the deity hit the floor, totally out cold.

"Miss Botan?"

* * *

Tell me if this was good. I'm begging. I'm so desperate.


	3. Bleeding: This is a chapter fic afterall

Disclaimer: I own nothing and nothing owns me.

A/N: Why am I continuing this? That's a very good question, considering this was only supposed to be a two-shot!

But, then again, I didn't expect to get so many reviews... I suppose I could be happy continuing it for the reviews...Obvious glory whore... Heh.

Anyway, I'm wondering whether I should add romance to this to spice it up a bit. Any thoughts?

* * *

"I don't know why I agreed to this."

The day had come. It was Monday and Botan was somehow roped into going to the six demon warriors' house to answer more questions from Rinku and to "go out" later with the guys to Enma only knew where.

They lived relatively close to Genkai's temple, actually. Their backyard was the the forest and their residence was a temple not unlike Genkai's... only in slight disrepair, due to the various hazards of having a house full of men.

That being as it were, the deity had decided to just dress in her usual pink kimono. It wasn't as if they'd be going anywhere special.

Floating on her oar, she spotted the residence. Nestled in between a few dozen oak trees was the temple of six warriors. Shingles clinging to the roof desperately and veranda housing rainbow colored wind chimes. Yippee.

It didn't take too long for her to find the males, as Jin and Touya were training out front and Chu and Rinku were atop the roof "fixing" the shingles.

Noticing a gliding shadow moving along the ground, the ice master looked away from his Irish friend up towards the sky. Instead of finding an enemy, he found the ferry girl gliding on her oar. More of less irritated about something. He could guess why, but best not poke the bear.

"Hello, Botan-san." Touya called up, causing Jin, Chu and Rinku to look up to where the blue haired female was hovering.

"Hello, Touya-san." Botan called back, floating down.

Even if she was here without having any desire to be, the deity decided that she could, at the very least, be pleasant towards the more polite of this group of demons. It would set a good example for Rinku, more or less... supposing he noticed... Mmmm.

"Botan-san! Ya' made it without any problems, I hope?" Jin asked, flying up next to her, his usual smile set on and his wind, as usual, blowing her hair into her face.

"No, no problems at all, Jin. How goes the house repair?"

"Oh, it's comin' along a'right. We got half the shingles up an' Suzuki's fixing the inside with Shishi. They're paintin' the walls right now."

The thought of the two most narcissistic demons she had ever met, painting the inside of a house almost made Botan slip off her oar. Those two? Painting a house? Enma, help the other four males. They'd be lucky if Suzuki didn't turn the walls into rainbow central. They'd also be lucky if Shishi didn't have the same fascination for the color red as he did for blood. Could someone say "Sixth Sense"?

"Really? That's... nice of them."

"Don't worry, we took away all the red, purple, yellow and orange paint in the house." Jin said, noting the sweatdrop forming at the side of the Botan's head.

"Well, thank goodness for that. Anyway, why did you guys call me over?" Botan asked, finding solid ground while Jin still floated, only now he was upside down, enjoying the feel of the blood rushing to his head.

"Well, let's see, Rinku had some more questions for ya'," Jin began, counting off reasons on his fingers," Suzuki wanted to find out if he could borrow that book he read at your house when you gave Rinku 'the talk' and we wanted to take ya' for a night on the town since you've been such a good sport about this."

A look of slight dread formed upon Botan's face," Rinku has MORE questions?"

"Yep!" The young demon answered for himself, leaping off the roof and onto the porch with all the ease of an acrobat. However, he did manage to hit Jin's legs on the way down, making the wind master finally turn upright, looking dangerously dizzy.

"Easy there lad... hey, quit spinning."

Looking from Jin, who had then proceeded to crash land to earth, to Rinku, Botan knew that if she left without eternal shame tonight, she'd be one lucky girl.

"What was it you wanted to know, exactly?" Botan asked, keeping her eye on Jin as Touya proceeded to lug him off the ground.

"We'll get to that in a minute. You want to go in first? There's tea in there and Chu has a lot less likely chance of falling through the roof and onto us." Rinku suggested, opening the door for the deity.

"Thank you." Botan said, rushing in. The thought of being squished under planks of wood and one drunk Aussie boosting her speed a bit.

The inside of the house was a little better than the outside, but only in the respect that nothing appeared to be in shattered ruins and that there weren't dirty clothes or dishes spread out everywhere. 'Suzuki or Touya must do the cleaning.' Botan thought absently.

However, the sight that greeted her next was enough to knock her out. Well, it would have if she hadn't years experience with stuff like this, anyway...

Before her, was the front room. Everything covered in white sheets and drapes and the like. Protection, no doubt, from the paint that was being put on the walls by two nearly naked demon males.

Slapping her hands over her eyes, the deity quickly turned from the scene of Shishi and Suzuki discussing color patterns in their underwear. The tengu sporting a loincloth and the blonde ex-clown sporting rainbow boxers. Go figure.

"Oh. Hi, Botan. You're here early." Suzuki greeted, obviously not taking notice of the way Botan was trying hard not to look him in the eye.

"... Yeah, sorry. Didn't know you'd be... doing this." She stuttered, steadily turning a deeper shade of red by the second.

Why? Why did Enma never cut her a break? She'd never done anything to deserve this kind of treatment in past life. She'd never done anything to even remotely deserve this kind of perverted situation!

Before the little scene could get anymore uncomfortable for the blue haired reaper, Rinku decided to come in with the tea he had promised.

"Here ya' go Botan, I found the-- What the hell?! Suzuki! Shishi! Put some clothes on! What's wrong with you?!" The small demon demanded, pulling one of the many white sheets off the couch, tossing it on the two clueless adults.

Quickly steering the deity over to the now sheet-less couch, Rinku handed her the tea, tossing an occasional dirty look towards the now somewhat, but not so very, embarrassed narcissists. Honestly, you'd think after all their living years, they'd know that pants went on in the presence of girls... ladies... females! Yes!

"Sorry about that. They're not used to... being decent... at five in the afternoon..." Rinku apologized, grasping for a way not to sound like they did this every day. Although they kinda did. But, usually only at night and with a multitude of strange women. That wouldn't sound right.

"Okay... What was that question you had for me? I'd like to put the image of those two out of my head... NOW. Ask the question, it might help." The deity begged lightly, sipping her tea.

"Oh! Right. Well, the question kinda has to do with girls," Rinku began, a slight tint of pink forming on his cheeks.

Botan raised an eyebrow. Girls? This could go well... if fate didn't want to screw with her too badly tonight.

"Uh-huh. And...?"

"Well... Chu said that if I ever wanted to date a girl, I had to consider "that time of the month". What's "that time of the month"?"

In Botan's already totally shaky mind, she was aware of a high pitched ring. Maybe she should tune out of reality and save herself the possible medical bills that could result from this conversation? A bleeding ulcer could occur from this, for Enma's sake!

But then, the completely naive look that Rinku was giving her would turn to disapointment if she did that, so maybe... she could... attempt to answer this... horribly awkward question. She was so pathetic.

Setting her tea cup down, the deity considered her words. How could she put this? Maybe the 'Crimson Tide' example?... No, that was too confusing even for her. 'Curse of Eve'?... No, too many ethical problems. Technical terms?... Maybe.

Taking a deep breath, the words were barely out of Botan's mouth when a giant crash was heard from the front deck, shaking the house. Vibrations caused her cup to almost fall off the coffee table. Causing her to fall right off the couch in surprise, actually.

Lifting herself from where she landed on the floor Botan looked towards the front," What the hell was that?!"

Rinku just sat in his spot, looking disinterested," I guess Chu finally broke through the roof. Oh well, we can just fix it again later."

"That was Chu?! Is he going to be alright?" Botan asked, getting back on the couch.

"Oh yeah. He could jump off a ten story building and land on his head without feeling a thing. Don't worry about it. Now," Rinku looked back to the deity hopefully," You were saying?"

"... Uh... Well, you see, "that time of the month" is when females, demons and ningens, go through a certain process. Remember how I said that females carry eggs?"

"Yeah."

"Well, once a month, when the female's eggs have been in them for a little too long without receiving "mini fish" to make a baby and sort of... uh... rot... the female produces an extra amount of blood to clean them out to make room for new ones."

"How does the blood come out?"

"Um... well... do you remember how the female receives "mini fish" and produces a baby through a hole?"

"Uh-huh."

"It's the same with the blood. It lasts for... a week. Sometimes more."

"Does it hurt?"

"It can, but there's really nothing we can do about it. It's not terrible pain. It's... annoying pain."

"Oh." Rinku looked astounded. How could girls live through all this sucky gross stuff, anyway? He never could," That sounds... really hard to deal with. Your life must be so uncomfortable."

"Oh, not so much. It was really uncomfortable about one hundred years ago, before tampons, pads and the like. Now, it's at least tolerable." Botan explained, sipping from her tea again.

"Tampons?" Rinku asked, a totally interested expression written all over his face.

Botan almost spat out her tea. She did not just make this worse, did she?!

In the kitchen she could hear the cheerful laughter of a certain Aussie who was more or less eaves-dropping from behind the kitchen door. She suddenly wished she had brought her baseball bat with her.

"Chu, could you come in here a moment?" Botan called in the feral voice that females possess that scares that crap out of every living being. A talent that didn't involve actual violence. A warning, if you will.

* * *

From within the kitchen, though Chu was the only one leaning against the door, he was the only one that got caught. Jin and Touya were also eaves-dropping... more or less anyway. Jin was still seeing spinning objects and Touya didn't really care to eaves-drop when he was in the middle of making a snack. They were more like well hearing bystanders. Yes.

Sighing dejectedly, the Aussie opened the door and walked into the living room where he expected the deity of death would probably chew his ear off about butting into private conversations or something...

Boy, was he wrong.

"Chu maybe you can help me explain what tampons are to Rinku." Botan not so much suggested but demanded. A devious look crossing her grinning face. Like a Cheshire cat.

Yusuke had warned Chu about that look once, if the drunk was not mistaken.

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED...

* * *

Don't worry, I intend to up-date this... if I get a decent amount of reviews... Yes.

The next chapter will either be longer or shorter, depending on whether or not I decide to add some romance. But if I do, I'm not quite sure which pairing would be suitable.

'Til next time!


	4. Cocoons?

Disclaimer: I own nothing and nothing owns me.

A/N: I'm back to writing on this with no idea what's going to happen. Zero direction. I think this chapter's going involve mental torture, but, I'm not certain.

And I'm still not sure about the pairing. Am I not a pathetic excuse for a writer?

On to the story... Yippee-yi-yo Tai-aye. Pfft.

* * *

When Chu entered the front room, he had hoped he would receive a whack on the head or a kick in the groin then be excused.

He should have known that women were more devious than they looked.

Sitting down on the sofa, the Aussie considered how to put this delicately. After all, he had only had, what? Three semi-serious girlfriends and on the rare occasions those little vipers had... asked him to pick up... those "things" from the corner store, he always backed out at the last minute.

This was a bad situation.

"We're waiting, Chu." The deity said, sipping from her tea and fully enjoying how the towering male squirmed in his seat. They had put her through the seventh circle of Hell, practically. Time to have a taste of the medicine. The vile, tastes-of-that-stuff-that- comes-crawling-up-your-throat-when-you're-sea-sick, use only every once in a while not twice in a week medicine.

_'Let's see Chu dig himself a hole.' _Botan thought, grinning behind her tea cup.

All the while Rinku was looking expectantly at the blue haired drunk, the naivety shining in his eyes like a beacon. This, in all it's simplicity, only served to make Chu even more nervous.

"Er... Well, ya' see, Rinku, women have these things for when they get their... period," The Aussie shuddered at the word," They're little, like... tubes. Filled with... uh, cotton and string, I think... And they all come in packs of, uh, fifty-"

"Twenty." Botan corrected.

"-right, twenty, little tubes in boxes at the store. The lady, or the guy that the lady is involved with, gets these packages at the store whenever the sheila is on her... period."

Botan rolled her eyes. He had left out a major part of the explanation.

"But, what do the tampons actually **do**?" Rinku asked, looking a little irritated. This guy was a good couple hundred years older than him, you'd think he'd know about something this important!

"Well, you see..."

Unfortunately for Botan, the lucky bastard was smarter than he looked. Instead of going through with telling a young demon something that he could never explain without becoming a laughing stock, the older demon took a secondary route.

This involved getting off the couch and diving through the open window that was close to the kitchen. No shattered glass, the thing had been open. And when the big idiot stood up, both Botan and Rinku's eyes followed his retreating form as he climbed up a tree, the sounds of Touya asking what the hell he was thinking ringing clear as a bell. Apparently on the landing, he had broken one of the ice master's vases.

Jin, finally over his dizzy spell, poked his head into the room, picking up on the dubious looks from both beings left alone by the drunk. Botan actually looking a little more pissed. Her eyes were narrowed and the cup in her hand was being clutched so hard that her knuckles were turning white.

Dare the Irish demon enter the room?

"I know you're there Jin, so you might as well come in." Botan said, not turning from where her attention was fixed. At the tree, where Chu had chosen a relatively sturdy branch to perch on. Maybe, if she stared at him long and hard, he'd have a brain freeze or he'd explode?

A girl could dream.

Edging in, the red haired male chose to hover next to the deity. Her grip on the cup was loosening a little. That was a good sign.

Resigned to obvious fate, Botan sighed, turning back to Rinku, who was still looking out the window.

"Rinku."

Attention removed from the idiot in the tree, the young demon looked back to the female, expecting to hear her say she couldn't explain it and bail out like Chu.

But, she surprised him.

"Continuing on, a tampon is used to absorb the blood the a woman releases. But,- this may seem gross, stop me at any time-- a woman is required to put the tampon inside her opening in order for it to absorb anything."

"H--How would that even work?!" Rinku asked, Jin himself looking even more intrigued than when she explained labor a few days ago.

Botan felt a blush of embarrassment spreading over her face again. Lord, she hated using technical terminology.

"Well, let's say that the tampon is kind of like a silk cocoon covered with a hard plastic shell," She began, feeling steadily worse as both males leaned in slightly," When the shell enters into the female, her skin tightens over it, holding onto the silk. When the female... clamps onto the silk, the shell is pulled out and the "cocoon" remains to absorb the blood. And that's what a tampon is for." The deity ended, slouching into the couch, somewhat tired for some reason. This was worse than an adrenaline rush she'd get from running away from rabid demons.

Jin looked very enlightened. So that's what those things were for. He'd known what a tampon was, but was unaware of what the plastic was for, and that little string...

"Hey! What about that little string thing-a-majig?" Jin asked suddenly.

"Yeah! Chu mentioned something about string! What's that for Botan?" Rinku joined in, unaware of the glare directed at the wind master, courtesy of the grim reaper.

Said grim reaper was ready to follow that coward of an Aussie out of that window. Of, course. There had to be more to what she had explained. Enma was feeling generous when it came to her humiliation!

"It's to get the "cacoon" out of the female. We can't very well just leave it there. It could lead to TSS! We could die from that." Botan explaned, not looking directly at them, but at the ceiling. Her head resting against the back of the couch.

"TSS?" Both males asked.

"Toxic Shock Syndrome." Botan answered dully.

"Oh." Both males echoed, both not seeming to need to know what that meant. Anything that had the word 'syndrome' in it was bound to be too hard to understand, anyway.

And besides, both demons had a feeling that if they asked her anything else involving female problems, she'd probably pull a "Shishi" and massacre their asses.

"Want to go out to dinner like we promised?" The wind master asked the worn down female lightly.

* * *

A/N: Okay, so this chapter actually ended up being shorter than the rest, but the next one will be better, because I fully intend to start adding the demons, and poor Botan's, personal questions next time.

Tell me a pairing if you feel up to it.


	5. Honky Tonk Music

Disclaimer: I own nothing and nothing owns me.

A/N: Okay, this chapter is going to be weird. I have not reviewed it except for spelling and already I know it is bound to be strange.

* * *

After hauling Chu off of the tree he had climbed up, Jin and the others loaded Botan into their slightly used yellow... Well, it wasn't a bus, but it wasn't a van either. Front seats, back seat, second back seat and open trunk. It wasn't a mini van... but, it was in that category.

The most responsible of the bunch, Touya and Botan were in the front seats. Of course.

Jin and Rinku were in the middle seats, both thinking about the conversation they had had with the ferry onna earlier. They usually caused the car to bounce a few times, but right now, they were far too calm to do anything.

Shishi and Suzuki, (now fully dressed) much to Botan's relief, were in the back row. Both carrying their own hand-held mirror and looking to see if their hair was too frizzy or something. Shishi kept twiddling with his bangs.

And Chu, ever afraid of what Botan might do once she got her hands on him, was in the trunk area. If the vehicle got rearended, he's be smashed first. But, then, getting hit by a car had never been a problem for the Aussie before, so... yeah.

Botan wasn't, however, too concerned about Chu. Right now she was wondering where all these males were taking her. They said to a "nice" dinner, but somehow, the feeling of dread was forming in the pit of her stomach. The feeling that these boys had never taken anyone, let alone a female, out for a "nice" dinner, had planted itself firmly in her mind.

And by the time they got to the appointed destination, she found, much to her annoyance, she had been right.

It was an American bar/lounge. With a western theme. When they entered the building, the sound of honky-tonk music and the smell of chicken and beer raided her senses.

This wasn't even the kicker.

Beyond where the "dining" area was situated, was a dance floor and a mechanical bull that drunk men kept mounting and flying off of every five minutes.

Botan was vaguely aware that a vein above her eyebrow was trying to explode.

Apparently the male male that noticed this was the ice master. He could concur with her feelings. He knew this had been a bad idea, but he had been over-ruled, five to one.

"Sorry about this." He apologized.

"It's okay." Botan said, slouching a little, her pink kimono's sleeves touching the ground as she did so. But, always the one to find a silver lining in a pitch black rain cloud, she replied lightly," At least I get a free dinner. Even if it is... What do they serve here?"

"Read the menu." The ice master suggested, pulling a chair out for her at the table. He had seen this done about a hundred times by ningen males. They said it was polite.

The grim reaper did just that, opening up the menu that was painted a deep red with broncos and bulls decorating the front. How in-style...

Reading the contents of the menu proved to be quite thrilling, too. Botan's pulse seemed to elevate after reading over every choice.

_Vegetarian chili..._

_Fulton Street Steak..._

_Fried Trout with wanton noodles..._

_Fried Oysters..._

_Seafood Baked Eggplant..._

_Fried Shrimp..._ Wait! Something normal!

"I'll have the fried shrimp, if you please." The ferry girl told the waiter, who had just finished taking Chu's order. The poor thing had to write ten miles and hour just to get the gist of what the huge male had asked for.

"Thank you. I'll be back with your orders shortly." The waiter said, bowing his head before leaving for the back.

_'Mental Note: Leave waiter supremely good tip.'_Botan thought absently, turning her gaze to the males, who had slightly devious looks on their faces. Well, besides Touya and Rinku. The former looking annoyed and the latter was simply occupied drinking his third soda.

Something in Botan's memory clicked when her eyes looked from Rinku's currently empty soda cans to the older demons. But, too late, unfortunately.

"Wha's say we start off the usual drinkin' game, mates?" Chu suggested in the most obvious, un-subtle way Botan had ever heard. It was so obvious in fact, that if Botan didn't know the demon well enough by now, she almost would think it an innocent suggestion.

"Drinking game?" The bluenette asked, raising an eyebrow as the Aussie started passing around shot glasses filled with some sort of alcohol he had snuck onto the premises. And it was green. Interesting.

"Yeah!" Jin perked up, leaning backward in his chair, "It's called 'I Never'. It's real fun, too."

"How do you play?"

"Well," Suzuki began, "Someone begins a statement with 'I Never' and continue from there. Like, "I Never stole someone's underwear." If the statement is false, the person drinks, but if it's true, you don't drink. Understand?"

The blonde was met with a blank expression from the deity.

"I believe a demonstration is in order." Shishi suggested, a glint in his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah! Demonstration! Demonstration!" Rinku cheered, his soda apparently coming into affect seeing as how his personality was become remarkably similar to Jin's.

"Okay, but no getting too out of control! We're still trying to pay the tab from last time!" The ice master ordered, waving an index finger like a school teacher or something.

And it was true, the bill they rang up from the previous 'I Never' game had cost a fortune, and then some.

Each glass being filled, the first person to start off the game was not especially clever, or especially cruel. But he was especially perverted, and perversity always got the ball rolling.

* * *

Okay, I know this was a really short up-date, but I've had a really long week baby-sitting my niece, and I know you guys were dying for an up-date! Fear not, though, the next up-date will most definitely be longer! I promise!

On that note... Any suggestions for embarassing questions?


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing and nothing owns me.

A/N: This is my up-date, the up-date that I'm sure is going to suck. Not just because I wrote it, but because I was half asleep with stomach flu when doing so. Enjoy, if you feel up to it. I certainly won't.

* * *

As all those at the table sat staring at Shishi, he considered a first question. Not too perverted, or Botan would probably smack him for setting a bad example in front of the brat, so what else was there?

...Oh, snap!

"I never defaced government property."

Surprisingly, the only two that didn't drink were Touya and Suzuki. Botan herself took a small sip, blushing deep red.

When she settled the drink back down on the table, she was very much aware that all eyes were on her now.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"This I got to hear more about!" The drunk Aussie coaxed, leaning in.

"Yes," Suzuki joined in, "What could have a woman such as yourself defaced that belonged to the government?"

"Well, at the time I really didn't know that it was illegal, and it was more of a lark, than anything else." She defended.

"What did ya' do?" Rinku asked, curious himself.

Botan fidgeted a little, averting her eyes from any of the men at the table, "I, uh, set a silver dollar on some train tracks and flattened it... apparently the government frowns upon that."

There was dead silence for a grand total of five seconds before all the males, even Touya, exploded into loud, roaring laughter. Botan was very close to turning the color of wine.

"Alright, alright! You've had your turn at fun, now it's my turn." The ferrier said, thinking, a small grin forming on her face when a question landed in the centre of her mind's eye.

"I've never danced naked."

The laughter that had been enveloping the table died as quickly as it had come.

Each of the men, excluding Touya and Rinku, took a quick swig of their beverage, avoiding any and all contact with any of the other demons at the table. Women had such nasty and tricky ways of changing the atmosphere.

Touya coughed, raising his glass to signal he had thought of something.

"I never took a woman for granted."

Surprisingly, the only person at the table to actually take a drink, a hard drink, was Jin. The wind master looking very oblivious as his fellow demons plus one spirit female stared at him wide eyed.

That lass in the dark tournament, Koto, he hadn't realized she'd flirted with him until he'd gotten back to Makai. What a waste that was. Oh, well.

"Ooh! I know! I never wore a pink thong!"

Leave it to the Irishman to think of something like that.

Unfortunately, this brilliant change of pace back-fired. Nobody, as in zero, zip, notta even took a sip. Not even the ferry woman.

Suzuki grinned, "Well, it's nice to know we all have something in common." He commented, spying the waiter edging his way through some ubber-drunk Americans that had settled near the bull riders.

"Oh, look, food."

Each demon looked to the waiter, sweatdropping at the sight of the barely 5'2 male carrying enough food for a sumo wrestler. That wasn't including Chu's meal that he had to drag behind him in a trolly cart.

Both Touya and Jin, being the closest to the small man, got up and quickly relieved him of of the heaviest plates.

"Ah, thanks a bunch fer the quick service yer lordship!" The redhead said brightly, setting his own food down along with Suzuki's. They weren't the heaviest plates, only consisting of every kind of meat, including hagus, plus potatoes, but it certainly made a difference.

Touya, himself handed Rinku and Botan their meals, only consisting of the fried shrimp the bluenette had ordered and Spagetti with supersized meat balls. And of course Touya's meal of fruit salad, tea and something that he couldn't pronounce but always ate with the special red sauce that wasn't quite ketchup but pretty damn close.

This left the waiter with Shishi's dish of roast rabbit served with gravy and Chu's food with was too numerous to mention.

"Here's... your food... please... enjoy." The waiter said, exiting for the kitchen area where he could pass out without getting stepped on.

He was _deffinitely_ getting a good tip.

"Yay! I love the food here!" Rinku exclaimed, quickly digging into the biggest meatball on his plate, looking vaguely, to Botan at least, like a small doberman chewing on a tennis ball.

This action prompted the other males to dig in. Gulping their food down like they hadn't eaten in ages.

Botan tried not to flich as she nibbled on her shrimp, seeing Shishi yank a large bone from his mouth, and Jin swallow his hagus whole.

She tried not to think what was in the hagus. She could deal with their poor manners so long as Jin finished the hagus off quickly. Probably would take a while, since he'd ordered four.

Maybe she'd be okay if she didn't look directly at them.

"Hey, lass, ya' want some?"

Looking back up from Jin's plate to Jin himself, the bluenette tried not to gag at the thought of putting the so-called Irish/Scotish "treat" in her mouth.

"N-No. That's okay Jin. I'm fine with my little shrimps." She demonstrated this by taking a bite out of the biggest one on her plate, at the average size of two inches. Fine restaurant value... indeed.

"Ah, c'mon. It's really, really good! My favorite, actually." The wind master said, setting a piece of the hagus in the center of the deity's plate.

Botan smiled. It was false as hell, but it was supposed to help suppress the gag reflex.

"No, no, no, Jin! This is your favorite, and I can't take this from you anyway, you're all already paying for my food."

"'S okay! I've got more than one. You try! It's good, I promise."

Touya, while the deity and Jin spoke, began to really pity the girl. He'd tried the hagus from here and it sucked as far as he was concerned.

Not wanting to disappoint the almost-hovering-off-his-chair demon, the deity obliged in his request, digging into the hagus with her fork, pretending, for the sake of her nerves, that it was beef.

Not pig intestines, blood and testicles mixed in a gruel.


End file.
